...

i'm thinking of ending things

i want a brain scratching conversation,

i want to feel giddy

i’m tired of it

i can’t reconcile it anymore, i won’t actually

i have to make the choice not to

i have to put the distance

i have to put myself first

to brace the loneliness

to wonder into the unknown

to let myself be crushed

chewed on

spit out

and

hope

that

the

distance

helps

and i start to feel better

and i start to dream again

and i start again